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Name: Conkers.

Age: Introduced to the UK over four centuries back.

Look: The outdoor world's collectible doll.

That can't be accurate. Absolutely. Check out a social media video of someone unboxing a conker, and you’ll probably hear them call it “the earth's Labubu”.

Opening up horse chestnuts? What on Earth are you talking about? Oh wow, you really are not up to date, aren’t you? Gen Zers are using social platforms to film themselves removing conkers from their prickly shells.

But why? Because of the sense of wonder! When you open up a conker, you never know what you’re going to get. Could it be large? Will it be flat? What will its shine level be? It is like a mystery box every time!

Do Labubu dolls share those traits? No, they’re somewhat eerie dolls that have become collectible because they are sold in mystery boxes.

Can someone please tell the younger crowd that they are not using conkers correctly? Are they? How do you do conkers, then?

Thread a lace through the center, and try to destroy everyone else’s conkers. Is that true? That’s bizarre.

Yeah. Your odds improve if you soak the conker in vinegar overnight and then bake it like a pie. You're not joking?

Seriously. And if you end up collecting too many conkers, you can hurl them across the playground and all the other kids will compete to grab them. A beautiful, natural thing like a conker, and you use it as a weapon? A weapon that comes with a long set of complex and confusing guidelines?

It’s traditional! King Charles literally just presented the World Conker Championships with three hundred horse chestnuts! At least young people are just recording videos.

Why don’t you know this? Probably, because some schools started banning conkers two decades ago, due to various health and safety fears.

Today's society always surprises. Maybe revealing horse chestnuts just doesn't appeal to you. In which case, perhaps you would be better suited to some other popular gen Z trends.

Oh really? Like what? Well, there’s this thing called yarn work, and something else called clay crafting that I can describe for you.

Those hobbies are ancient! Let me guess, you heat tools in apple drink and then use them to poke each other?

Certainly not! OK, relax. I thought all old-people traditions involved violence in some form, after that horse chestnut game.

This is overwhelming. Relax for a moment. If you need me, I’ll be unboxing seeds for clicks.

Do say: “TikTok can’t stop filming conker reveals.”

Don’t say: “That's crazy.”